Extroverted Introvert?

This weekend I discovered something about myself. I discovered that my environment has a major affect on my attitude and how I act around different people. I mean, most people would say the same about themselves…they’d agree that they too are influenced by their setting, but for some reason, I hadn’t realized how big of an impact my environment has on me. Upon meeting me, most people would say that I’m an extrovert. I love meeting and talking to people, I love to have a good time, and you can always count on me to make sure that everyone else around me is having a great time as well. When I’m happy, I want other around me to be happy. When I’m sad, it still want others around me to be in positive spirits. But this weekend was different.

So I went to an event at church this weekend. The event was titled “Real Talk about Relationships” featuring dinner, entertainment, and discussion. Overall, I will have to say the event was really nice. The atmosphere was nice, and food was cool, and it was a great opportunity to meet and fellowship with other young believers in the church. Many of the faces I had seen before, but there were also other folks that I hadn’t recognized. As far as the discussion went, it was more of an open forum where they had a panel of married, engaged, and single individuals all speaking on their views on relationships and what influences God plays in their lives. And though I felt the panel did a good job answering questions that were asked of them, many of the responses were what I had expected. I expected people to say “Trust in God… he will provide you with the man that you pray for.” “If you want a real man, a leader….then you as a woman need to be able to follow…to submit.” But for some reason I was looking for something else. I was looking for more tangible responses. I wanted to hear something that I hadn’t heard before. But maybe what I really needed was reinforcement. Maybe I DID need to hear it again.

Anyway….I just realized that I went of on a huge tangent. My original reason for even mentioning the event is because I hardly said a thing that night. I listened attentively to what people had to share, but did not share any real thoughts of my own (though a lot was going on in my head given all that’s going on right now). That night I really withdrew myself from all that was going on around me. I’m still wondering if my behavior was the result of not really feeling like I’ve been as involved in church as I should be and not really knowing people, or maybe it was because of the topic of discussion. I don’t know what it was, but it was a strange feeling.


This weekend, I also attended a couple of Superbowl parties. (Yaaay for Black Coaches!!!) I ate a lot, talked to people who I hadn’t seen in a hot minute, watched the game, and commentated throughout the night. However, as opposed to the first party where I knew almost everyone, the second party was comprised of many people who I had never seen before. It felt like everyone there knew one another. And though there were a few people that I had seen at his events before, there weren’t many people that I actually knew. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. I did as well actually. But it was weird…I felt a little shy. I didn’t go out of my way to introduce myself or mingle with the pre established cliques. I pretty much kept to myself, and observed the scene. O.K….so if you know anything about me, you know this is not typical of me. Me,,…SHY? Naw,… not me. I’m usually the hype woman (or so I thought). But not this weekend. This weekend I found myself being very introverted, a bit timid and reserved. So now I'm left to wonder, am I really an extrovert? I mean… I love to party, go out, meet new people, speak in front of crowds and all that good “extroverted” stuff. OR and I an introvert? I would have never labeled myself as one, but maybe deep down I really am. Maybe I use my extroverted character to mask my insecurities and introverted self. Hmmmm……(a person can be both right?)