I love my job. I love what I'm doing. I love the people I'm working with. I've been fortunate to meet some pretty interesting folks. But this week has just been exhausting! So, I'm working on a clinical research study designed to examine the way in which physicians communicate preventive health messages to their patients in annual and chronic care visits, and this is the first week that we have been actually working out in the field. I've had quite a few interesting interactions with both physicians and patients, but I have to admit that having to deal with so many different people with varying personalities has been exhausting. I feel like my mind has been going 100 miles per hour, and by the time I get home I just wanna pass the f*ck out. But b/c I spend so much of my day going in and out of the clinic, I don't get the opportunity to call patients. Which then means that I have to put in a few work hours in the evening. Ahhhhh...I'm sooo tired right now. I just want to stay at home and do absolutely NOTHING for a while.
When I was younger I never understood why my mother would be so tired after she got off of work. I mean...she spent most of her day sitting down, how tiring could that be? But now I understand.....completely
Oh...and on top of the fact that I've been working like a mad woman, I haven't had the opportunity/energy to go grocery shopping or cook (real) meals. As such, my frig is looking quite bare. Which is pretty bad for me seeing as how I keep food in the house as if I have a family of four to feed. Due to the lack of available liquids (ie...bottled water, juice, punch, milk, ice tea...anything) I've been forced to drink smirnoff ice's for the past couple of days to quinch my thirst. Hey...its better than taquilla.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I'm holding on to Cali
Soooo...
I've been living out here in NC for a little over two years now, and I still have my CA drivers license. I know I was suppose to turn it in to get a NC licence 30 days after moving out here. But that 30 day window has come and gone. Though I know that I need a new license, I can't seem to bring myself to let go of my Cali Ls. I'm probably not going to be moving back to the west coast any time soon, but I don't want to give it up. I mean...what if I do decide to move back. Then I'll have to go through the trouble of getting a new one re-issued. I guess part of the reason why I'm still holding on to this license is because it has the picture that I took on my 16th birthday. YUP....same old ancient picture. And though I look NOTHING like I did 9 years ago.... that was a significant time of my life. I guess I'm still holding on to the memories.
Just as I'm holding on to my CA license, I'm still holding on tight to my Oakland cell phone number. I've lived in Los Angeles, and NC, and never once have I even entertained the thought of changing my cell phone number. Part of the reason is because I've had this same number ever since I've owned a cell phone (over 8 years) and I don't want to go through the hassle of calling people to update them with my new number, but the other part of the reason is because I don't want to let go of my link to Oakland. I feel like giving up my number is like giving up a part of me. I simply can't do it.
Am I really THAT attached? I mean, you would think that over time I would have let some of my ties go, but it seems like the farther I move from Oakland, the more I feel the need to stay connected. I will never stop LUV'n CALI!
I've been living out here in NC for a little over two years now, and I still have my CA drivers license. I know I was suppose to turn it in to get a NC licence 30 days after moving out here. But that 30 day window has come and gone. Though I know that I need a new license, I can't seem to bring myself to let go of my Cali Ls. I'm probably not going to be moving back to the west coast any time soon, but I don't want to give it up. I mean...what if I do decide to move back. Then I'll have to go through the trouble of getting a new one re-issued. I guess part of the reason why I'm still holding on to this license is because it has the picture that I took on my 16th birthday. YUP....same old ancient picture. And though I look NOTHING like I did 9 years ago.... that was a significant time of my life. I guess I'm still holding on to the memories.
Just as I'm holding on to my CA license, I'm still holding on tight to my Oakland cell phone number. I've lived in Los Angeles, and NC, and never once have I even entertained the thought of changing my cell phone number. Part of the reason is because I've had this same number ever since I've owned a cell phone (over 8 years) and I don't want to go through the hassle of calling people to update them with my new number, but the other part of the reason is because I don't want to let go of my link to Oakland. I feel like giving up my number is like giving up a part of me. I simply can't do it.
Am I really THAT attached? I mean, you would think that over time I would have let some of my ties go, but it seems like the farther I move from Oakland, the more I feel the need to stay connected. I will never stop LUV'n CALI!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Randomness of my day
Random #1: Why must he dig for gold?
As I was driving to work this morning, I turn to look out of my passenger side window so that I could change lanes....only to be distracted by a old man dig'n all up in his nose. Like aaaaaaaallllll up in it. It was so DISGUSTING! The trip thing about it was...the nose picker and I actually made eye contact, and he didn't even have the audacity to stop. I tell you about people these days. They don't give a flying f*ck who sees them. What is it with people in their cars and nose picking. The two seem to go hand in hand. I've witnessed this scene many a times as I'm driving down the street. Do people think that their car shields them from the rest of the world? Yes, you may be in the car by yourself, BUT your car is NOT as "private" as you may think. I mean... COME ON NOW PEOPLE!....the freak'n window is TRANSPARENT!!!
Random #2: Went in for one shot came out with three
As part of employee clearance for my position, my immunizations have to be up do date. So I schedule an appointment to have a TB skin test taken (since I recieved an e-mail notifying me that I needed the test done). They told me to bring in a copy of my immunization records as proof of previous vaccinations. Unfortunate for me, I only had a copy of the records that my father faxed me from Cali in 2004, which meant that I didn't have any proof that I had recently been vaccinated at UNC (which was one of the requirements for Public Health graduate program). Being that I was too lazy to go through the process of getting my records faxed over from UNC to Duke, I opted to go on ahead and get the additional vaccines done since I was already at the hostipal. SO, to make a long story short, instead of just having a TB skin test done, I left having recieved a shot for the TB skin test, a measle, mumps, rubella shot, a tetnus shot, and a really sore left arm.
Random #3: Surpriiiiiise!!!!! We're testing you for drugs!!!!
Yes, you read that right. As I was leaving the nurse's office with my sore arm, she directed me to the waiting area and told me to have a seat and wait for someone to call me in for my drug test............HUH?!? Drug test? What did she mean drug test? I didn't make an appointment for that. I made an appointent to get a TB skin test, not a drug test. It was bad enough...I had just walked out of the office with a murdered arm. So I sat in the waiting area trying to play it cool. I mean...I had nothin to worry about (nervously biting finger nails). After about 20 minutes, I get called in to the office. I quickly take the alcohol test which merely involved placing a plastic strip in my mouth and covering it with saliva. Then, the nurse began explaining the drug screening process. Ok, so at this point I start feeling moisture under my arms. Why am I so nervous? Like I said, I had nothin to worry about. Maybe the fact that this was a COMPLETE SURPRISE had something to do with it. The nurse handed me the "pee cup" and instructs me on how to fill it up. Problem was.....I didn't have to pee. Like most people, I used the restroom when I first woke up, and seeing as how this was only 8:30 in the morning, I had no more liquid to drain. So...I run over to the water fountain and begin downing water. 4 cups of H2O to be exact. I kept drinking until I felt an urge, at which time I filled the "pee cup", waited for my instant result, and walked out of the nurses office with my negative results in hand. Needless to say, I've been peeing all day.
Random # 4: Why does this always happen to ME?!?
I went to Target to buy laundry detergent and stopped over in the produce section. Some of you may know my story ofthe Cereal display in the Food Lion grocery store that came tumbling down when I tried to turn the corner with my cart. And though today's situation wasn't as dramatic, it seemed like everything I touched seemed to trigger neigboring objects to come tumbling down. What fell this time? Ohhhh....the tangerines, the bell peppers, the jalepeno papers, a couple pairs of shoes, and some doggie sweaters. Sigh...this always happens to me.
Random #5: Its feezing out here...
So why the hell do you have on shorts and have the nerve to wear a jacket?....like having that extra layer up top is gonna keep you warm now. Today I had on a knit top, slacks, closed toe shoes, and a long heavy wool coat in a effort to combat the chilly weather. It was so cold that i couldn't bare to have my hands outside of my pocket outta fear that they might fall off. So I'm talking to someone on the phone, complaining about the temperature, and here comes this dude in his shorts and jacket. I didnt even have any words. I just shook my head and kept on with my conversation. I'm sure the guy's mother wouldn't be to happy with him right now.
As I was driving to work this morning, I turn to look out of my passenger side window so that I could change lanes....only to be distracted by a old man dig'n all up in his nose. Like aaaaaaaallllll up in it. It was so DISGUSTING! The trip thing about it was...the nose picker and I actually made eye contact, and he didn't even have the audacity to stop. I tell you about people these days. They don't give a flying f*ck who sees them. What is it with people in their cars and nose picking. The two seem to go hand in hand. I've witnessed this scene many a times as I'm driving down the street. Do people think that their car shields them from the rest of the world? Yes, you may be in the car by yourself, BUT your car is NOT as "private" as you may think. I mean... COME ON NOW PEOPLE!....the freak'n window is TRANSPARENT!!!
Random #2: Went in for one shot came out with three
As part of employee clearance for my position, my immunizations have to be up do date. So I schedule an appointment to have a TB skin test taken (since I recieved an e-mail notifying me that I needed the test done). They told me to bring in a copy of my immunization records as proof of previous vaccinations. Unfortunate for me, I only had a copy of the records that my father faxed me from Cali in 2004, which meant that I didn't have any proof that I had recently been vaccinated at UNC (which was one of the requirements for Public Health graduate program). Being that I was too lazy to go through the process of getting my records faxed over from UNC to Duke, I opted to go on ahead and get the additional vaccines done since I was already at the hostipal. SO, to make a long story short, instead of just having a TB skin test done, I left having recieved a shot for the TB skin test, a measle, mumps, rubella shot, a tetnus shot, and a really sore left arm.
Random #3: Surpriiiiiise!!!!! We're testing you for drugs!!!!
Yes, you read that right. As I was leaving the nurse's office with my sore arm, she directed me to the waiting area and told me to have a seat and wait for someone to call me in for my drug test............HUH?!? Drug test? What did she mean drug test? I didn't make an appointment for that. I made an appointent to get a TB skin test, not a drug test. It was bad enough...I had just walked out of the office with a murdered arm. So I sat in the waiting area trying to play it cool. I mean...I had nothin to worry about (nervously biting finger nails). After about 20 minutes, I get called in to the office. I quickly take the alcohol test which merely involved placing a plastic strip in my mouth and covering it with saliva. Then, the nurse began explaining the drug screening process. Ok, so at this point I start feeling moisture under my arms. Why am I so nervous? Like I said, I had nothin to worry about. Maybe the fact that this was a COMPLETE SURPRISE had something to do with it. The nurse handed me the "pee cup" and instructs me on how to fill it up. Problem was.....I didn't have to pee. Like most people, I used the restroom when I first woke up, and seeing as how this was only 8:30 in the morning, I had no more liquid to drain. So...I run over to the water fountain and begin downing water. 4 cups of H2O to be exact. I kept drinking until I felt an urge, at which time I filled the "pee cup", waited for my instant result, and walked out of the nurses office with my negative results in hand. Needless to say, I've been peeing all day.
Random # 4: Why does this always happen to ME?!?
I went to Target to buy laundry detergent and stopped over in the produce section. Some of you may know my story ofthe Cereal display in the Food Lion grocery store that came tumbling down when I tried to turn the corner with my cart. And though today's situation wasn't as dramatic, it seemed like everything I touched seemed to trigger neigboring objects to come tumbling down. What fell this time? Ohhhh....the tangerines, the bell peppers, the jalepeno papers, a couple pairs of shoes, and some doggie sweaters. Sigh...this always happens to me.
Random #5: Its feezing out here...
So why the hell do you have on shorts and have the nerve to wear a jacket?....like having that extra layer up top is gonna keep you warm now. Today I had on a knit top, slacks, closed toe shoes, and a long heavy wool coat in a effort to combat the chilly weather. It was so cold that i couldn't bare to have my hands outside of my pocket outta fear that they might fall off. So I'm talking to someone on the phone, complaining about the temperature, and here comes this dude in his shorts and jacket. I didnt even have any words. I just shook my head and kept on with my conversation. I'm sure the guy's mother wouldn't be to happy with him right now.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Funny how things change over time
It was long overdue. I had some time on my hands, so I did what I do best and I spent a good deal of time reflecting. I thought back on how my life had been when I first moved out here to NC....
When I first moved out here for gradschool I knew no one. Not one single person. I had no friends, no family, no nothin. It was just me.... surrounded by trees....HELLLLLLA trees. I was anxious to start a new chapter of my life. I'd be learning new things, meeting new poeple, sharing new experiences, and becoming a more independent person....or so I thought. However, when I finally made the move 3,000 miles away from the only people that I love and trusted, the only people that knew and accepted me, I realized that the transition wasn't going to be as easy as I had once anticipated.
School started off a bit rocky. It wasn't that the classes were too difficut for me (don't get me wrong, the program was intense and challenging as all get out), but I had a hard time making the adjustment into gradschool because I was so unhappy with my life here. I spent many days crying on the phone, wondering what the hell I was thinking when I decided to move out here. Out of all the schools I had been accepted to, why did I choose to come to North Carolina. I felt very alone and vulnerable. I'm a grown ass woman, why am I crying to much? People make moves all the time....right? "Alright, lemme try to make the best of it, it's only two years....two years, I'm sure it'll go by sooner than I expect" is what I tried to tell myself. So I met some people in my program who I'd hang out with from time to time. We'd do the whole bar thing, hang out at someone's house party, do random lil things in what Chapel Hill had to offer, but I never really thought of them as my real friends. I wanted to be with MY friends. My friends that knew and accepted the real me, the happy, the silly, the clueless me. I felt so alone out here. At times I'd even sit and think about who would actually call or come to check up on me in the event that something should happen to me out here. Like I said, I talked to my folks back at home all the time, but what could they really do from way across the country? Who would know if I was in trouble, lost, or needed help? It was just me all by myself.
That was a little over 2 years ago. The tears no longer flow uncontrollably. I no longer feel alone. And though it took me a while to reach this point, I can honestly say that I am happy where I am. I've come to realize that there are people who care about me out here in NC. Like truely care about me and my well being. This is not something I would have said a year and a half ago...or shall I say, would have actually believed. I mean, I've known that there were people that I could call on when I needed a random favor here and there, but I never really felt like I had people out here looking out for me.
But this weekend, I realized that situations had changed.
As of late I've been keeping pretty much to myself. Except for the daily conversations with my boyfriend, girlfriends from Cali, and close friend out here, I haven't really been in communication with many folks. Actually, I've been kinda ghost. Sometimes I get into these weird moods where I'd rather be by myself. I'd rather stay indoors. I'd rather listen to music and let and let my mind wander off into space. Sometimes I just need time for ME. Well... given the fact that I've been in a pretty reclusive mood and haven't been my usual "social" self, a few people that I'm pretty close to out here have taken notice, and have reached out to me via phone calls, texts, e-mail etc. And though I had no intensions of worrying them (especially given the fact that nothing is going on), it was comforting to know that I have people out here who care, and are concerned enough to check up on me when they notice that something doesn't seem right.
It's funny how things change over time. But today I can say that I am thankful to have such wonderful, caring people in my life.......on both coasts.
When I first moved out here for gradschool I knew no one. Not one single person. I had no friends, no family, no nothin. It was just me.... surrounded by trees....HELLLLLLA trees. I was anxious to start a new chapter of my life. I'd be learning new things, meeting new poeple, sharing new experiences, and becoming a more independent person....or so I thought. However, when I finally made the move 3,000 miles away from the only people that I love and trusted, the only people that knew and accepted me, I realized that the transition wasn't going to be as easy as I had once anticipated.
School started off a bit rocky. It wasn't that the classes were too difficut for me (don't get me wrong, the program was intense and challenging as all get out), but I had a hard time making the adjustment into gradschool because I was so unhappy with my life here. I spent many days crying on the phone, wondering what the hell I was thinking when I decided to move out here. Out of all the schools I had been accepted to, why did I choose to come to North Carolina. I felt very alone and vulnerable. I'm a grown ass woman, why am I crying to much? People make moves all the time....right? "Alright, lemme try to make the best of it, it's only two years....two years, I'm sure it'll go by sooner than I expect" is what I tried to tell myself. So I met some people in my program who I'd hang out with from time to time. We'd do the whole bar thing, hang out at someone's house party, do random lil things in what Chapel Hill had to offer, but I never really thought of them as my real friends. I wanted to be with MY friends. My friends that knew and accepted the real me, the happy, the silly, the clueless me. I felt so alone out here. At times I'd even sit and think about who would actually call or come to check up on me in the event that something should happen to me out here. Like I said, I talked to my folks back at home all the time, but what could they really do from way across the country? Who would know if I was in trouble, lost, or needed help? It was just me all by myself.
That was a little over 2 years ago. The tears no longer flow uncontrollably. I no longer feel alone. And though it took me a while to reach this point, I can honestly say that I am happy where I am. I've come to realize that there are people who care about me out here in NC. Like truely care about me and my well being. This is not something I would have said a year and a half ago...or shall I say, would have actually believed. I mean, I've known that there were people that I could call on when I needed a random favor here and there, but I never really felt like I had people out here looking out for me.
But this weekend, I realized that situations had changed.
As of late I've been keeping pretty much to myself. Except for the daily conversations with my boyfriend, girlfriends from Cali, and close friend out here, I haven't really been in communication with many folks. Actually, I've been kinda ghost. Sometimes I get into these weird moods where I'd rather be by myself. I'd rather stay indoors. I'd rather listen to music and let and let my mind wander off into space. Sometimes I just need time for ME. Well... given the fact that I've been in a pretty reclusive mood and haven't been my usual "social" self, a few people that I'm pretty close to out here have taken notice, and have reached out to me via phone calls, texts, e-mail etc. And though I had no intensions of worrying them (especially given the fact that nothing is going on), it was comforting to know that I have people out here who care, and are concerned enough to check up on me when they notice that something doesn't seem right.
It's funny how things change over time. But today I can say that I am thankful to have such wonderful, caring people in my life.......on both coasts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)